Hero of the Week - Melissa

This week's hero is brought to you in Haiku form:

Great friend. Great mother.
Sassy. Classy. Wonderful.
Thanks for the gossip.

Crazy Plant Lady

As I'm getting older, I find it's necessary to document the gradual decline of my sanity. I just advanced two steps closer to crazy this morning. Why? Because I caught myself having a conversation with my new plant as though it were a puppy or kitten or something. "You thirsty? Yeah, you must be thirsty... you drank all of your water last night. Want to go outside? Want to sit by the sun? Ok!! Which window do you want to sit at? Want to sit so you can see the bike riders? Ok, we'll put you here."

Just cut my balls off and/or shoot me now.

My Ivy

I'm also taking bets as to when I kill it. Who's in?

My new favorite t-shirt

I was at a comedy club last night and saw Gabriel Iglesias. First off, the guy was freakin' hilarious. And what was great was that ALL five other comedians were outstanding as well.

But I must say, one of the highlights was when he referred to a T-shirt he saw. Yes, I went and looked it up. And yes, I have already purchased it. Regardless of your political affiliation, or who you're voting for, you gotta admit... it's classic!

Creep of the Week - News anchor and reporter

I'm always up for a good catfight, but I could do without this:

Here's something I think they both failed to learn... professionalism.

Hero of the Week - The Marquette and St. Mary's high school hockey teams

It's good to see that in today's society we can still understand the balance between competitiveness and sportsmanship. It's also inspiring to read about those with that "it" in their hearts that enable them to battle for eight overtimes.

Good job guys.

Read about their story here.

We Are the World

I don't even know what to say. Stumbled upon this doozy this evening... take a look.

Creep of the Week - Luo, the Chinese Bride

This weeks runner-up's all have something in common... No Clue. They included:

• An uptight school principal. Reminds me of the Family Guy episode where the teacher continues to yell at a student to take his hat off in class. His yarmulke.
• Old people with nothing better to do. Instead of worrying about those whipper-snapper's fashion statements (which I also hate by the way), why not spend your free time actually doing something important? I don't know, maybe like voting? What the hell is it with Florida and elections?
• Boyfriend of the Year. Umm... yeah. I would think that after DAY ONE of being in there it would be too much for me, and I'd either get some help or get the hell out.

Our winner however can only be described as the Wife of the Year. Yikes. You really can't even make up any jokes about this. What is there to say? She's a bit hot-headed? She overreacted? Um, yes. Yes she did.

Hero of the Week - Erma Smith

The best of birthday wishes go out to my Grandma Erma who turns 90 years young on March 13th. This past Saturday, we celebrated by giving her a touching, funny and inspirational banquet at the Proud Bird restaurant near LAX.

Highlights of the day included:

• Her daughters Dolores and Vanessa, along with other friends, getting their boogie on.
• Photos and good times with the family
  
  Grandma Erma and my Dad

• A joke from "Aunt Flossie" that I didn't get on video. (Aunt Flossie happens to be a male family friend who dresses in drag... a guy who just happens to run the local funeral parlor... yeah, it's just best not to even ask.)

  A woman walks into church with her 8 daughters. Once the doors open for church, anyone who wants can go to the front, and give themselves to the Lord. When the pastor asked who would like to come to the front and give themselves to the Lord, all eight girls went up there.
  
  The girls lined up in a row, and the pastor asked the first one, "What's your name little girl?" She responded, "Shaquita!". The pastor asked the second girl, "And what's your name?" The second girl replied "Shaquita!". The pastor said, "Your name is Shaquita too?" The girl said, "Yup!" So the pastor kept going down the line asking the girls their name. And all the girls replied with "Shaquita!"
  
  So the pastor called out to the back, "Could the mother of these children please come forward?" The woman comes before the pastor. The pastor asks, "These are your children?" "Yes pastor." she replied. "And they're all named Shaquita?" "Yes pastor." Bemused, the pastor asks, "Well what do you do if you need to get just one of the child's individual attention?"
  
  Without hesitation the mother replied, "I just call them by their last name."

All in all, it wasn't as dry of an event as I expected. Lots of laughs, and I got to see many family members who I never get to see. Too many times, we come together as family only at funerals (this is why I recognized Aunt Flossie.) It's good to let people know how you feel about them while they're still with you. As they say, a party costs less than a grave. Love you Grandma, Erma... Happy Birthday!

Congratulations...

Many congratulations go out to Gamble & Huff for their introduction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame this Monday.

Growing up, there were three HUGE musical influences in my life. The simplistic genius of Smokey Robinson and Berry Gordy's Motown; The eclectic, bass-driven, psychedelic sounds of James Brown and George Clinton's Funk; and the smooth as silk soul of Gamble & Huff's Philadelphia Sound. While the sounds of Motown and Funk were always good for partying, dancing, being silly, and just plain "rocking-out" to, it was the Philly Sound that gave me an appreciation for music. The laid-back grooves, the richness of all the instruments together in harmony, and the straightforward, yet deep lyrics, all made me secretly dream of creating music of my own (which I'm sure all of us non-musical people do at some point). It's good to see something that means so much to me get appreciated for its value (even if it does come a bit too late in my opinion).

Once again, congrats to Gamble & Huff. You deserve it.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080307/ap_en_mu/rock_hall_gamble_and_huff

Creep of the Week - Mayor of Bordeaux, France

Let's just say this creep of the week thing is going to be a fun little feature for me. It seems there will never be a shortage of candidates. Amongst the runner-ups this week were a Dodger and a pair of pugilistic parents. (Oohh, illiteration!) But without a doubt, this week's winner is Mayor of Bordeaux, France. Because of the inability to expand the land on its existing cemetery, he has threatened anyone who dies and wishes to be buried there with severe punishment. Go ahead, let it swirl in your head for a sec. Makes sense yet? No? Exactly.

And I know what you're saying... How come that piece of shit from the Marines that dropped the puppy off the cliff isn't your creep of the week? Well, for one, I'm trying to keep this feature as light-hearted as possible, and two, I'm waiting until the validity of the video is confirmed before I enshrine him into the Creep of the Week Hall of Fame. If the video turns out to be staged, he's still a grade-A asshole.

Quick Hits - 3/5

• Easily my favorite story of 2008.
• Good riddance.
• Speaking of football, My. Team. Sucks.
• What the hell is wrong with people?
• Seriously, what is going on in our world?
• Yikes, it doesn't stop. I might have to join Melissa and move to Vancouver.
• Ok, let's end it on a positive note. I got a kick out of this.

Hero of the Week - Voters of Brattleboro, Vermont

Last Thursday I started a gimmicky blog feature called "Creep of the Week" that basically calls out people in the news for their behavior. Now while I admit, it's fun talking about people, I've noticed that in my search for creeps, there were five times as many heroes. So as to not wallow in negativity, every Tuesday I'll offer my Hero of the Week, spotlighting people who go above and beyond to help out, have a cool idea, or just normally do good by others. You know, the stuff we're supposed to do.

This week's hero(es) are the good folks of Brattleboro, Vermont. They've basically drafted a symbolic measure to have President Bush or Vice-President Cheney arrested if they ever visit their town. Of course it's a bit extreme and will never be taken seriously... but let's face it... the idea is AWESOME! Good job guys.

LA Marathon XXII

Congratulations to all the runners of this past Los Angeles Marathon. And a special congrats go out to my boys, Shamar and Tendo. Wish I could've been out there with you guys.  Next year!

Tendo (photo by Monica)

Shamar (photo by Monica)