Is it really that difficult...

... to find a decent barber? It's always a battle when I go get my haircut, especially lately since the shop I was going to closed up and moved to another mall. So unfortunately, I'm now in the process of finding a new barber. A process, as many of you know, can take quite a long time, and can be an unpleasant road to travel, making pit stops that can look like this along the way.
not me... but close So today, I tried a new barber. "George's Barber & Hairstyling Salon" in Culver City owned and operated by George, Stylist & Cosmetologist. That was clue #1. A barber should advertise that he's a barber, not a stylist. I don't need a stylist. I need a haircut. Clue #2, he's not black. Doesn't always mean he won't be able to cut black people's hair, but it's not a good sign. I get in the chair, and I tell him what I want. Now this is where the story requires a little background information. So this is the look I'm going for. In my opinion, it's nothing complex, a lot of men have it, and it's not hard to accomplish.
can't be that difficult... can it? So the problem I've had is explaining what I want to these fools. To all the black barbers I've gone to the explanation is this. "I want to keep growing it out a bit. Keep the length the same all the way around, and just taper the sides and back." The barber normally understands what I want, and hopefully it's what I get. If it's not exactly what I wanted, it's either due to a mistake or incompetence, but at least we both were on the same page as to what cut I was getting. Well, now that my normal barbershop is too far away, I've had to go to a couple of "non-black" barbers. They should know what they're doing, but... let's just say that "just taper the sides" can produce some FUCKED UP results. Ok, back to today's story. So, I tell him the normal details. He gets the "keep the length the same all the way around" part. He asks me how is it. I tell him that I'd also like the sides and back tapered. 10 minutes later, I end up looking like this.
fucked up then, fucked up now Maybe not that bad, but it felt that bad. Because it's a pointless exercise to battle back and forth with him on how to correct it, I immediately pay him and head out to another barbershop to right this horrible wrong. Since I can't trust anyone with a pair of scissors anymore, I give barber #2 of the day the simplest of instructions. "Cut it all off! I want it ALL even... and use a #1." Can't really mess that one up, and thankfully she didn't. She even listened to me bitch and moan about my awful haircut resulting in this semi-hilarious exchange: Me: I was butchered! Her: (laughing) It's ok. You just didn't get the style you like. How long ago did you get your haircut? (Probably thinking I'm referring to the last time I got a haircut, like 2-3 weeks ago.) Me: Today. Her: (more laughing and guffawing) Yeah, let's take care of this. So the summary is this:

1. Know who you're talking to. Different barbers speak different languages, and what might be a "taper" or "fade" to you and me, is a "blend" or "two-tone" to someone else. And by someone else, I mean white people.
2. Take a photo with you of what you'd like to get done. I've never done this because I'm not a woman, and I always assumed anything I wanted could easily be explained, but of course, you've read summary point #1.
3. Supercuts is actually not that bad. Never thought I'd say that sentence in my life. But I have to thank the stylist there for saving me from attending a wedding this weekend looking like someone took a weed-wacker to my head... in 1989! Maybe my next haircut will be at Fantastic Sams.